Rainbow Dash Needs Love

I don't know why, but it came to mind that I have a few thoughts about shipping Dash. It's a popular subject, and sometimes it almost feels like training wheels for shippers - you can fit Dash with nearly anypony, so start with her. Well, first off, you can fit nearly anypony with anypony else. Try to find one of the mane six that *doesn't* work with Twilight. People just tend to focus on Dash. I imagine it has something to do with her being a fanon lesbian, but even that hardly explains it... it's not like she's the only popular pony, even within shipping.

First off, I am actually very disappointed by this fandom's treatment of Rainbow Dash. You see a tomboy and decide she must be gay? Way to absorb the show's central feminist message guys. And don't get me started on those I've heard who have *actually* used her mane as pointing to her sexuality. It's Equestria. Rainbows -.- .

That being said, my headcanon has her gay mostly just because I like shipping her with mares more than with colts. You can draw the insinuation (remember this is a kids show!) that she has a somewhat physical relationship with Gilda, and I like to take her as the kind who'll want to play the shining knight to somepony, which means if pony society is anything akin to ours she'll more likely seek out females to allow her to fulfill this role. Still, I make pretty much anypony straight/gay/bi as it pleases me (I've had Fluttershy be implicitly straight in "Thunder and Lightning", not so much in "Kindness's Reward") but if I broke it down I'd have to say AJ is the only pony I'd see as "completely" straight. But we're getting off topic, aren't we?

Let's start with a popular ship, and one of the very first I was introduced to. AppleDash. The reasoning is pretty cut and dry - they're clearly close friends as is, and they're the only ones who can keep up with one another, physically at the least. The difference in maturity levels would also clearly come into play as more than once AJ has reined Dash in, and would provide something of a protective figure to Dash. Unfortunately, the ship has some big flaws that I don't often see addressed. Neither pony is really emotionally available, so not only would they have a hard time getting together, but any change in their relationship would likely go unnoticed by the other pony; if one of them slighted the other the bad feelings would be left to fester, or if one of them wanted to get more serious they might hold back, unable to read the other's intentions. You also have how differently they live their lives. Applejack's crack-of-dawn lifestyle wouldn't fit well with Dash's "1 pm is still kind of like morning" attitude, and while this seems like a small thing, it's indicative of how they live their lives, lives they'd reasonably expect their partner to partake in. And when the fights do break out, nearly every one would threaten their relationship. Neither pony is the kind to back down - AJ has been seen to, but only in times of crisis, and Dash has never once admitted to be wrong. Reconciliation would come slowly, and likely leave old emotional wounds in the relationship that would scar rather than heal. Dash is simply too immature, and AJ too emotionally unavailable, and neither would be willing or capable to make the relationship work in the long run without some serious character development by one or both sides.

Rainbow Pie started out kind of weeeeird for me but isn't a bad ship. Pinkie I see being the likely one to initiate the ship (I may have read too much of Butterscotch Sundae's works) again due to the fact that Dash isn't the quickest to admit her emotions, even a positive one. Her friendship with Pinkie could possibly be at stake (admitting a crush and finding it unrequited can hurt) so she'd probably fear losing that as well. But Pinkie's more than open enough to get Dash to open up, and her carefree attitude would match Dash's easily. Dash's need for attention also jives with Pinkie's need for companionship, and they're not likely to wear one another out either (get your mind out of the gutter, I mean from day to day). Pinkie kind of strikes me as the type to seek out somepony when she's feeling blue, Party of One notwithstanding because she had nopony to seek out in that situation. The only problem would be that neither pony is good at being particularly serious or dealing with complex problems. If one of them suddenly had an issue that isn't resolved with a good cry and snuggle session, the other would likely be at a loss. Both would probably enter the relationship with the anticipation of something fun and less-than-serious, not necessarily casual, but both are the kind to date without necessarily falling in love with the other pony. Of course over the course of their relationship they can grow and change, and perhaps survive any crisis, but it's one of those ships where you have to work the characters and get a little creative.

Since I may as well cover all the big ships, we'll go with TwiDash next. Twilight and Dash hit that sweet spot where they're different enough that they complement one another without being at odds with one another. They're both pretty single-minded ponies with attention issues, but focus on being good friends. Twilight can be snarky and does have a sense of humor, enough that her banter with Dash would likely be enjoyable to both, even if Dash's pranks would probably go over the top for her on occasion. She can rein Dash in like AJ would but wouldn't be so quick to argue, and Dash would in return offer a way for her to lighten up. Twilight is also pretty well rounded emotionally - "Look Before You Sleep" is actually a good example of how she is slow to react but will still speak up when there's a problem. The drawbacks are of course that there's not a lot of common ground between them to begin. Twilight's more suited for independence, and would expect any partner to be fine being left alone until she's available. Dash would want a lot more engagement than that, while meanwhile being likely to dismiss or underplay Twilight's own pastimes without realizing the harm she would be inflicting in doing so. So they'd again probably have to grow a little to work, but not any great amount. However, actually putting them together to begin with isn't the easiest task. The way they met didn't have a lot of give and take, and since then they're stance towards one another seems to be more "oh, you're part of the gang" rather than "oh you're one of my close friends". They get along but it's their mutual social circle that keeps them together.

Three ships in and I'm what, half way done? Let's see, AJ, Pinkie, Twilight.... oh yes, Fluttershy. I... don't like Flutterdash. On the surface, it works great. We have a strong preexisting relationship, and the two do offer a needed role in one another's life. Fluttershy has the patience and caring to feed Dash's ego in good times and tend to her in bad, and she's somepony even Dash could open up to. She'd let Dash fulfil that protector role, which she would likely want in a partner - not out of weakness, of course, but timidness. The problem is that their relationship would not give Dash any reason to become more emotionally available, and in fact might worsen her treatment of those around her. Fluttershy would simply not bring up her problems to Dash's face unless pushed (think Art of the Dress) and Dash would never push. If anything Fluttershy might get passive aggressive, which would only alienate or confuse Dash if she took notice. Otherwise we've seen that Dash already knows she can boss around Fluttershy (Sonic Rainboom) and Fluttershy would do her best to fulfil all Dash's demands, many of which she probably shouldn't. Dash needs somepony to play level-headed counter to her, but Fluttershy wouldn't be up for the combative role required and the break-up would be quite painful. The only way to salvage it would probably be through a long adventure-style fic that would both strengthen Fluttershy's resolve and serve to make Dash more receptive via having to rely on her friends in crises.

Hem, let's see, now that I'm sure to get some angry comments, I think we're through the mane six. Rarity x Dash isn't a thing so I won't bother analyzing it. Since it's been planted in my head I'll admit it's kinda cute, but maybe we'll get to that back over on my DA. Only a couple big ships with side characters come to mind, but let's start those with a disclaimer. I will be using *my* version of the side characters, which means what's headcanon for me, whether I've written it or not. I'll explain those characters as I go, as I have been doing for the mane six anyway.

Rainbow Fire. Spitfire, the captain of the wonderbolts and one of two named wonderbolts. In this capacity she would be two things: Firstly, awesome, and secondly, responsible. She'd be pretty good for Dash in a lot of ways. They have plenty in common, and Dash would be good for lightening Spitfire's no doubt tiring days as a manager while Spitfire would know when to hold Dash back, but would only do so on rare occasion compared to others, which would help Dash to pay attention when Spitfire does say 'no'. There are potential problems in their maturity difference, and Dash would probably have to get used to some ego deflation with Spitfire at her side, but it's not unworkable. It's an interesting ship because only it and Appledash pair Dash with someone who wouldn't really let Dash take on the protector-knight role (in fact, in Rainbow Fire I imagine Spitfire wearing the pants in the relationship.... figuratively speaking). That however does play to their maturity difference and implicit age difference, and is simply a different role for Dash than usual.

Finally, I've saved the best for last. Yep, my favorite ship is Rainbow Scratch. Vinyl Scratch is just too cool. I like to describe her as a "cool flame", somepony who lives their life by passion, but is still completely in control - not a hothead like Dash. She's wise enough that rather than "hold Dash back" like I've talked about other ponies doing she could probably convince Dash that it was her idea to hold back all along. She'd definitely understand Dash's drive, and Dash would probably understand her as a kindred spirit in that regards. She'd probably be harsh on Dash's ego, but not to a ruinous extent. I know I'm speaking with a bias, except all of these are my opinions, and in my opinions, Rainbow Scratch works. The big problem, which kind of came into play in my fic "Thunder & Lightning", would be Scratch's unspoken assumptions about Dash. Probably without even knowing it she would have expectations she would want Dash to fulfil, and even though she's not quick, Scratch is just the kind to make it obvious that she thinks this or that of Dash. So if she was having a problem, Dash would not likely open up to Vinyl at all, as that would both prove Vinyl right about her ego being too big and admit that she's failed Vinyl in some way, even if both ponies aren't entirely conscious of that angle. It'd be up to Dash to either stand up for herself and risk flaring Vinyl's temper or find another way to deal with her issues, or Vinyl would have to recognize the pressure she was putting on her partner.

I've probably missed something. Has somepony shipped Dash with Celestia? Hang on, I want that one, nopony write that, I'm calling it. Hmm. Luna? Trixie? Lyra? Colgate? Nope, can't think of anything. Well, that's what I think of our rainbow-maned fillyfooler. Of course if it *does* turn out she likes colts....well then you'll hear the collective "frick!" from fanfic writers/readers across the world.